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Warren Drabble

I thought 'I’ve got to write a Warren drabble, I’ll write something about the Trio it’ll be funny' … that didn’t happen instead there’s this:

Title: People Aren’t Machines
Author: Aurey09
Character: Warren
Number: 13/100
Timeline: Villains

Warren saw a team like a machine, if a part went wrong you removed it. Jonathan broke down first, he’d expected it to be Andrew but it didn’t matter, both of them were weak, like sheep; like the majority humans.

But Warren is the first to stop working. He isn’t unwound like a spring but stripped, made into a dangling carcass. Anya sees it happen, as she stands with the others. She remembers looking into one of his robots, saying she’d prefer looking at guts not wires. But now she wishes he were a machine, everything would be less complicated.



Comments

( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
hesadevil
Feb. 9th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
Excellent. A look into Warren (lierally) and Anya - two for the price of one.

Care for some concrit before you consider posting this on gen_storyteller?
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks glad you liked it.

Thanks I'll take you up on the concrit. I've already got a rejection/concrit email today so I'll wait till tomorrow if that's okay with you. I've done some others drabbles as well I'm not sure if they're right for gen_storyteller or not.
hesadevil
Feb. 9th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
For this drabble it was just one word that jarred so give me a buzz me tomorrow by all means. I was going to ask you to bring the Simon drabble over until I remembered that we're a Buffyverse only board. If you point me at the drabbles you had in mind, I'll give them the once over.

I read the rejection email and found it very positive, and I'm fairly certain myfeetshowit would beta for you. She's working on my WIP at the moment and I've only a couple of chapters more to write. When it's finished I shall resist all her attempts at getting me to write a 'Part Three' of the series, even though my finale is another 'open ender'.
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 10:19 pm (UTC)
If it's only one word I think I can just about take that. I'll only end up obsessing what it word it is otherwise.

The drabbles I’ve done are here under my memories: http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=aurey09&keyword=drabble&filter=all

They’re all are labelled by character. I don’t know if some are to shippy but they're all canon. I think the best one is a Lorne one.

Thanks.
hesadevil
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
Scrub tomorrow. I just read them. I think you should bring all of the Buffyverse ones over, apart from Cordelia, Denis, Doyle, and Anya. There's a couple of apostrophes missing and the odd punctuation mistake but I could help you with those if you want.

The Lorne one has a particular style that is very original and effective.
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks for posting you just saved me from a horrible depressing post. I had a crying panic-attack because of the rejection email - delayed response. I think I might have more insecurities about writing than most. There's apart of my brain that says dyslexic people can't be writers.

I have a real tough time with grammar so the help would be appreciated.

Glad you liked the Lorne one.
hesadevil
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
think I might have more insecurities about writing than most.
Is it only writers who really care about the quality of their work who find the thought of publishing (for that's what we do when we put them up for the public to read) terrifying? I like to think so. It takes even more courage to do it if you're dyslexic.

I'm a retired teacher. My specialism was English and my 'talent' as identified by every school in which I worked, was helping pupils who had difficulties with reading and writing for a whole host of reasons. So, yes, I can help with the grammar and would be happy to do so.
aurey09
Feb. 10th, 2007 12:07 am (UTC)
*hugs* thanks. I really struggle with grammar as much as I do with spelling. I'll post the drabbles on gen_storyteller that you suggested, those are okay right or is the grammar off on all of them?
hesadevil
Feb. 10th, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)
Give me a chance to do a thorough check of them and I'll email you the corrections. As I said, it's mainly a couple of missing apostrophes and the odd punctuation mistake. There's no glaring grammatical mistakes at all. Send me your email address to hesadevil@gmail.com and I'll get to them asap tomorrow.

I'm very old fashioned when it comes to the modern use of commas, but as long as they don't confuse the sense or rhythm of a piece, I'll leave them alone. So you could put the Warren up as it now stands.
hesadevil
Feb. 9th, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
both of them were weak, like cattle
The word 'cattle' detracts from what is otherwise an excellent image. You're pointing out Warren's view of the other two from his position as leader. He sees their insecurities (the desire to be wanted, to belong in the case of Andrew) and desire to stay within the bounds of universal morality ('thou shalt not kill', in the case of Johnathan) as weakness. Cattle aren't weak. They're strong and can be dangerous. So it's the word 'cattle' coming immediately after 'weak' that I'm talking about. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything to suggest to replace it and retain the meaning.
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 10:56 pm (UTC)
I didn't realise I'd done that it came from the later image of 'dangling carcass' like you get in butchers. Only word I can think of is sheep - it's a little cliche but it might work.
hesadevil
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
I see how you're trying to link the image of dead meat and an abattoir and perhaps 'sheep' might be a better word (even if cliched) as it combines the idea of the others following without thinking.

I like how you've changed tenses, from past to present. It makes Warren's death all the more horrific in the second paragraph.

I'll try to get to the other drabbles tomorrow when I take a break from writing.
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
I've tried using tense for effect before but you're the only one who's ever mentioned it. :-)
woman_of_
Feb. 9th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Oh yes, Warren always thought highly of himself, but was the first to fall!
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 09:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It was difficult knowing what drabble to write around Warren. I tried to be as objective as possible when writing about him, while not ignoring who he is.

scarlettlily
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:00 pm (UTC)
This was a very interesting drabble, great job.
aurey09
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks it was one of those fics that went to a darker place than I intended it to.
shinodabear
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, I loved it. Really neat.
aurey09
Feb. 10th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC)
I'm glad you loved it. I wrote it this afternoon and it went in a completly different direction than I'd intended it to.
lilachigh
Feb. 10th, 2007 08:53 am (UTC)
That’s weird. I read this late last night and thought, oh I must friend her tomorrow because I like this so much. And this morning, found you friended me for my last drabble! It’s fate!
aurey09
Feb. 10th, 2007 11:43 am (UTC)
Welcome to my f-list. I tend to friends people when I like their writing. Is there any of your past drabbles or fics that you want to recommend I read.
lilachigh
Feb. 10th, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
Goodness, what a nice challenge! I have written quite a lot, I’m afraid. You can find most of it at SR or BSV or on my LJ or my other LJ [Unknown LJ tag]

My very first story was called Splinters. The first chapter of this was the plot that was running through my head and needed to be written down. Not quite sure how I’ve progressed to where I am now!

I have a finished, romantic, post LA apocalypse story called Never Alone that people seemed to like a lot.

Also finished is a very light-hearted, sexy story called Cousin Arabella which features, duh, Spike’s cousin he mentions early on in the series who married the Regurgitating Frovlax Demon.

Arabella has actually won prizes for best demon in comps and is now completely above herself. Div’vid, her long suffering seven foot tall emerald green husband has never won anything which is a shame. I love Div’vid.

Also finished With This Ring, a follow on to Something Blue. Rest of the storis are WIPs. The most popular are Strip Snap and Forever and a Day. I personally love writing Future Imperfect but that is a story about family relationships and not so much a Spuffy story because they have a daughter and granchildren.

And I’m sure all of this is far too much information so I’ll shut up now.
aurey09
Feb. 10th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
I'll try and get around to reading some of your writing. I'll add some of your fics to my favorites list and catch up. Thanks for taking the time to rec.
ozma914
Feb. 10th, 2007 11:05 am (UTC)
No, not funny, but well done. It gives a pretty good look into the minds of both Warren and Anya.
aurey09
Feb. 10th, 2007 11:54 am (UTC)
Anya pushed me out the way and took over on this one.
ozma914
Feb. 11th, 2007 12:24 am (UTC)
Anya taking over
Faith does that to me every time I try to write her!
aurey09
Feb. 11th, 2007 12:37 am (UTC)
Re: Anya taking over
Faith took over the first part of my BtVS WIP too and Andrew did a little as well but I think they all the characters to to some extent.
ozma914
Feb. 11th, 2007 06:32 am (UTC)
Re: Anya taking over
If you've done a good job creating (or with fanfic knowing) your character, they'll tend to come alive ... but I've never had a character take over the way Faith has. She showed up completely unplanned to take a critical part in the end of Xander's Job, and turned one line in Xander's Morning into a major roll.

That's a story I've told before, but it just occurred to me ... maybe she just likes Xander! :-)
stretfordditto
Feb. 10th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
Excellent drabble, I hated Warren and was glad he got flayed ::is bloodthirsty::
aurey09
Feb. 11th, 2007 12:26 am (UTC)
Thanks, Warren was a difficult character to know what to write for. He's a different type of villain to most other characters in the Buffyverse. He was just a human, which makes the things he does all the more terrifying.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 22nd, 2007 01:38 pm (UTC)
You are right
Hello! Author, yeah, you're right!
And just cool blog, interesting site name aurey09.livejournal.com :), I see you you're are not newbe. Don't stop the nice job!
aurey09
Feb. 22nd, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
Re: You are right
Thank you, whoever you are.
yourlibrarian
Jan. 3rd, 2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
Here from buffyversetop5
I like that comparison between Warren and Anya, two people who want the human condition to be simpler (and more self-serving).
aurey09
Jan. 3rd, 2008 10:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Here from buffyversetop5
Yeah, there are some similarities between the two, both are at times motivated by vengeance (particularly towards the opposite sex) and their world views do seem to be eerily close. Thank you.
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )